For Their Own Good

5 Jan

My kids love me and tell me this on a daily basis, but today I find myself thinking about this whole “Mom” thing.  My Mother passed away when I was a small child and I did not grow up with a close mother/daughter relationship so now I worry and wonder if I am doing it right.  Not to say that I did not have a Mother.  My Dad remarried and my Step-Mother raised me as her own but there was never a closeness.  I’m not complaining, I respect and love my Step-Mom, we just don’t have the kind of relationship where I can pick up the phone and call her to chat.  Growing up I was (really I still am) jealous of my friends and the close relationships they had with their Mom’s.  The lack of experience with the mother/daughter dynamic often has me wondering; Am I doing this right?  Will my kids grow up to be normal and happy?  Will they have ambition and be contributing members of society? These are all valid questions aren’t they?

Questioning my parent ability is not what I want to share.  So where is this going you ask?

My kids are good kids, but there are times that consequences are required for their actions.  Unfortunately for them, they are at an age that sending them to their room is no longer enough.  Today I am going to have to hand down a consequence that is going to last for a couple of weeks.  None of them has done anything “bad”.  It’s just that attitude and performance in school has become somewhat lackadaisical.  I find (from personal experience) that some distractions are going to have to be removed.  By distractions I mean electronics. 

To teenagers this is like removing an appendage!  I will not be liked for a bit, but that is ok.  I only hope that I will be respected for my decision.  I remember locking myself up in my room for long periods of time just sulking when I was in trouble (I was not a bad kid, I just hated school and did not apply myself like I should).  Nothing could get me out of my room. 

I remember when I was a teenager and disliking my parents when I needed discipline.  Now, as an adult, I respect my parents for their decisions.

I am very thankful that the need to discipline does not happen too often, I just want it to be effective.  Maybe, if I am lucky, more quality time can be spent together and focus can be gently guided back into the right direction.

You are not hearing me complain, I really do have great kids.  There are children out there that do much worse than have a poor attitude or don’t make an effort in school.  I just wanted to put my thoughts down and in a few weeks when the electronics are turned back on, the kids might read them and know how much they are loved and that discipline is really for their own good.

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